“You must do the thing you love to do!” they say.
“Life is too short”… “have no regrets!!”
Well, if you want to talk regrets, I regret to inform you that I quite simply don’t know what it is that my life is too short not to do.
Terrible as it sounds, and overly dramatic too, I appear to be a wee bit lost.
My degree was useless, aside from the fact that it enabled me to stumble into the job I do now; the “golden handcuffs” which become tighter the longer I dare to accessorize. The longer I stay in my job the more logical it seems to remain. And while I know that logic is a rubbish and boring thing to plan one’s life around, in my age I am starting to see its appeal.
Elizabeth Gilbert recently did a TedTalk on the importance of pursuing what you love, no matter what. She even offered advice for us lost souls who don’t know what their “THING” is: “Here’s a hint- find the one thing that you love more than you love your ego…more than you love yourself.”. The reasoning behind her thinking was this: your love for the “THING” needs to be undeniable, indestructible, and stronger than your wounded pride, should you fail at said thing.
So here are some of my things, all auditioning for top “THING” status:
- Baking. I bloody love cake. And baking it too. Frankly, if I were ever widowed or heartbroken, baking would be my outlet and I would do it every day and leave the creations on strangers’ doorsteps with anonymous loopy-handwritten notes quoting something from the “Pay it Forward” movie. I find so much joy in putting average things together in a creative way and making something extraordinary. Did I mention I love cake?
- Writing. Ok so I played guitar and went through a songwriting phase and “recorded an album” which sounds cool but actually anyone can do it and “having an album” bears no actual representation of possessing any talent. When I met my husband the music kind of died off, all of a sudden I was happy and no longer needed music therapy. But the writing has always clung on in one way or another. When I was pregnant I enthusiastically splurged £300 on a children’s writing course because I would have “SO much free time whilst on mat leave!” … I’m just going to let that sink in for a moment…. bahahahahaha idiot.
- Property. My hubby is a bit of a Right Move addict and, as much as I hate to admit it, all those years of late night ipad-finger-swiping are starting to pay off. He “gets” property and I believe, if you asked him, he would probably confidently announce that it is his “THING”. Bastard knows his thing. So we spent 3 years renovating a Victorian property and are looking to do another as a holiday let. I don’t have a burning love for property as he does (the man literally cannot walk down the street without commenting on every.single.residence.), but I certainly love the creativity of renovation and beautification. Bonus points: Owning a holiday let would give me an excuse to leave baked goods +/- loopy handwriting.
- My Family. I have (in order of appearance) a crackin husband, a loyal (if not slightly nutty and overbred) 7 year old Hungarian Vizsla, and a one year old boy named Finley who makes my heart flippity flop more than I thought humanly possible. If I were to not be overthinking the “THING”, my family would of course be it. Work seems irrelevant when I weigh up how much I love them, and if I were to be applying Elizabeth Gilbert’s theory, my ego pales in comparison.
…So can my family be my thing? What would that mean for me? And so begins the overthinking.
I want to hear from the girls out there who became mums and realized that their “THING” doesn’t actually have anything to do with them at all. And the mums who love their families more than anything but needed a THING of their own. I’m new to this mummy business. ♥